Weird Things You Do When You're Alone

Hmmm... I don't think I'm that weird. I should say I don't think the things I do when I'm alone are that weird. I save my weirdness for public spectacle.

I like to tweeze and wax. I don't like to do it, but it passes the time. Waxing the stache and the uni-brow are a must and those are just things you don't want to do in the presence of company. I have to do this sometimes when DJ is home and I just shut the bathroom door. We never shut the bathroom door so when she sees that she knows something unpleasant must be going down.

I stalk. Specifically, I facebook stalk. There is nothing weird about this, although it might be a little creepy. My latest obsessions are... uhhh... never mind. All you need to know is that I often look up people from my past so I can see what they've been up to. Sometimes I want to know that I'm happier than them, sometimes I truly want to know that they are doing well. I also might want to check out a friend of a friend and see what their story is. If we're fb friends, chances are I've stalked you or someone who commented on one of your statuses. Yeah, I said statuses!

I give myself pedicures. I break out the home foot spa, pumice stone and all the goodies that go along with it to make my lower digits look fab. Gross toes are a pet peeve and if my toes don't look good I can't wear sandals or flip flops.

I think of my enemies and have conversations with them in my head. In these conversations I am most witty and I always, always get the best of them. Sometimes the conversations are do-overs where maybe I didn't have the best comebacks so I have to redeem myself.

I look up recipes online. I put recipes into my fitness pal (mfp) for use at a later date. I figure out exactly how many calories I will burn if I actually get up and exercise. I shop online but don't usually buy; I do add a lot of stuff to my Amazon wish list (it's public btw. Just in case you wanna surprise me). I update FB repeatedly... like, almost constantly. I make lists of things I should be doing. I balance my checkbook. I examine the animals for injury (you never know). I research diabetes. I think about food. I spend a lot of time naked. I do everything naked when I'm alone.

Well, there you have it. I'm not that weird, right?