Diabetes~Trying to Suck the Fun Out of Everything

Every year at Christmas DJ and I do quite a bit of baking. We have a few favorites and this year we've decided to make Russian Tea Cakes, Candy Cane Cookies, Peanut Butter Balls (haha. you said balls), Pumpkin Bars and I'm going to try to squeeze some sugar cookies in there too. We have already made the tea cakes and started on the balls (i'm so immature) and have taste tested, maybe a little more than necessary. We're gonna need more tea cakes if we hope to share with our friends.

We are not a family that is full of traditions so this one is pretty important to me and both DJ & I enjoy it a great deal. The baking really is as fun as the eating. Thanks to diabetes I used to dread the eating. Not the actual eating, but the trying to figure out how many carbs are in each treat. What you're supposed to do is figure out all the carbs in each ingredient, add all the carbs together and divide by the number of servings in the recipe. What a pain in the arse and what usually ends up happening is guessing at the number of carbs and ending up with extreme highs or lows. Well. No more!

When I'm looking for new recipes I usually go to allrecipes. Towards the middle of the page you can see the nutrition information. If you click on the + sign you can see how many carbs are in each serving as well as a plethora of other information. This looks like the same tea cake recipe we use, you should give it a shot.

If you already have a recipe you enjoy you can to go to websites like this one or this one and enter your recipe information and, wa-la, it does the math for you. I've mentioned before what a math nightmare diabetes can be. I'm pretty sure these tools were developed just for me and I'm happy to share with you. My nearest and dearest friends. Consider it a Christmas gift from me to you.

***Disclaimer: The gingerbread village above came to us in a box. Nutrition information was available on the label. 32g of treat = 18g of carbs

My Kid Will Never Be A Soldier (Thank God)

Joining the military is quite the process. Let's focus on the medical piece of it, for just a minute. This is my stab at infusing Diabetes Awareness Month and Veteran's Day. I googled "Can people with diabetes join the military" and came up with this information. Not only can you not have diabetes, you can't have: gastritis, anal fissures, artificial openings (wtf), anemia, braces, gout, hyperthyroidism (I have this), endometriosis, hermaphroditism, scurvy, missing thumbs or big toes, the list goes on and on. I can't make this shit up people, that's why I attached the link. I was really looking for a yes or no answer, what I got was so much more entertaining.

Okay. Why am I glad my baby will never be a soldier/sailor/airman? There's the obvious reason. There's a war going on people! I already worry about her every second of every day, the last thing I need is for her to go off to war. The second reason, probably the bigger reason: I know what goes on when 18-year-old kids join the military! I know what happens when 18-year-old girls join the military. I was one of them! I'm not going to go into detail, not too much anyway, but there are a LOT of men in the military. In fact, there are more than twice as many men that women. Also, when you're 18 and in the military some rules just don't seem to apply like they do in the civilian world. I was stationed at Ft. Polk Louisiana right out of high school (after basic and AIT). We could go to the bars in town or on base and get trashed! Just like the "old" folks. We could buy alcohol on base, as though we were old enough to drink. In fact, I can't think of anything the 21 and older soldiers were doing that we were ever excluded from.

Don't get me wrong, we had fun! (Don't worry ya'll. I'm not going to call you out or go into detail.) We built friendships and formed our own family units that will last a lifetime. I abso-freaking-lutely loved my experience in the military. It's just not something I want for DJ. I can't imagine how my mother must have worried about me. I'm also not completely crazy; I know DJ will make similar mistakes and have similar experiences. I guess I will have to take some solace in knowing she won't be adding the element of potential danger to the mix.

Everybody Makes Mistakes

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I can be a FREAK when it comes to DJ, diabetes and the combination of the two. As crazy as I can get, as perfect as I try to be, even I make some diabetes mistakes.

*Had to call DJ out of class in the 1st grade to give her insulin shot that she should have gotten at breakfast.
*Went to a friends house 30 minutes away, settled in for dinner and realized the insulin was still at home in the fridge.
*Waited until the last minute to buy insulin only to remember that Kaiser pharmacies close early and spending an hour on the phone with baby-daddy trying to get insulin from Walgreen's.
*Paid three times as much for one bottle of said insulin than I would for 90 days worth at Kaiser.
*Too much insulin coupled with not enough food.
*Forgetting to add insulin to DJ's pump before bedtime, causing the pump alarm to go off in the middle of the night. Incessantly.
*Detaching the empty pump from DJ's body and shoving it under the mattress to shut it up.
*Removing the pump from under the mattress and putting it in the kitchen drawer to finally silence it.
*Every time we go to sushi I forget to have DJ take insulin. Do you know how many carbs are in sushi?

This is just what I could think of on the spot. I'm sure there are so many more mistakes I've made on this diabetes journey. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one. Thankfully I've made friends with some other amazing women who have the same kinds of things. When I do something really stupid I just shoot a message to one of my fellow t1d moms and before I know it they have me laughing at myself.

Dia-wuh???

Diabulimia is a term I came across a few years ago when researching complications of diabetes. For me, knowing the possible complications of diabetes helps me to freak out a lot less than being in the dark. Fear of the unknown and all that. In order to understand the seriousness of diabulimia it's important to understand exactly how diabetes works.

This is the way insulin works. When we eat anything with carbohydrates our bodies beta cells produce insulin. This insulin turns the glucose in our body into energy. You might be surprised at what foods contain carbs; it's not just breads and pastas. Fruits, vegetables (peas & corn especially), milk, yogurt, sports drinks (gatorade), juice, regular soda, nuts, ice cream, beans, soups all have varying amounts of carbohydrates. There is a misconception that people with diabetes eat too much sugar or should not have sugar. Diabetics, like anyone else, need carbs. Also, like anyone else they should try to eat more healthy carbs than unhealthy carbs.

In a person with type 1 diabetes, the beta cells (contained in the pancreas) gradually stop producing insulin. With nothing in the system to lower blood sugar, it continues to rise. If left untreated high blood sugar leads to serious complications, one of which is weight loss, and eventually death. Treatment is multiple daily injections of insulin and constant monitoring of glucose levels in the blood. It's a pain the ass, it's uncomfortable for the diabetic and it can be heartbreaking for the family to watch.

Now, what exactly is diabulimia? Diabulimia is when a person reduces or skips insulin doses in order to increase blood sugar and ultimately in order to lose weight quickly. This article can answer your questions about diabulimia. I don't know enough about it to confidently explain the disorder. What I do know is that it scares the hell out of me and that all of us need to be aware of this disorder. Diabulimia is not recognized as a medical disorder. Yet. Hopefully with time and with an increase in awareness we can change that.

Giving the Gift of Funding A Cure

So I am at work today just perusing the internet (if you tell on me I'll deny it) and I came across this really cool website. I'm always on the lookout for something new to advertise diabetes awareness and right now I'm looking for some new shirts for DJ. The queen of the t-shirt! If I find a shirt or two for myself, that would be cool too.

This website has many items you can personalize, which is pretty exciting... to me anyway. They have awareness gear for diabetes, autism, cancer, heart disease, down syndrome; the list goes on and on. So, if you're looking for any personlized awareness gear (and really, who isn't) check this out. I even found a little something for a couple of my fellow t1d moms, if you're reading this I bet you know who you are. I'd post a picture, but I want it to be a surprise.

Absolutely the best part of this is that when I went to check out I was shown how much of my payment is going to awareness. It was about 50%!!! Well, that just made me happier than... looking for a euphemism, all I can come up with are naughty ones... let me just say I was very pleased. Anyway, along with informing me how much is going to a cause it gave me the opportunity to pick a cause from their list. I think this is shear genius and I'm sure I will be hitting up this site again. Soon.

Celebreties With Type 1 Diabetes

In no particular order...

Nick Jonas~Singer (He wrote a song about it. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.)
Gary Hall~Olympic gold medal swimmer
Elliot Yamin~American Idol contestant
Mary Tyler Moore~Actress & JDRF spokes person
Crystal Bowersox~American Idol contestant
Jean Smart~Actress
Dorian Gregory~Actor & Soul Train host (Peace, love & SOUL!)
Bret Michaels~Singer (Cuz his life doesn't suck enough.)
Anne Rice~Author
Damon Dash~CEO and co-founder of Roc-A-Fella Records
Sonia Sotomayer~First hispanic and third female to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court
Jay Cutler~NFL quarterback
Phife Dog~Singer (A Tribe Called Quest = Can I kick it?)

I'm sure this doesn't even scratch the surface. Diabetes does not care about race, color, gender, economic status. It could strike anyone at anytime. Make sure you know the signs of diabetes and have your children tested at their annual check-ups. If their pediatrician does not normally test, ask them about it. Without treatment, diabetes kills. Remember that insulin is not a cure, it is life support.

***Halle Berry is a moron who claims she went from type 2 to type 1, which is impossible. I only mention her because if you google "celebrities with type 1 diabetes" you will most likely find her.

Type 1 Diabetes 101

I was going through my old blogs and not once have I written about type 1 diabetes. I know, I know. I write about our experiences with type 1 diabetes all the time, but apparently I have not educated you all on what it actually is. I have told you what it's like to live with t1d but not what is going on inside the body of a t1 diabetic.

This video can explain it better than I ever could. I absolutely HEART this video.

I must take my leave now. Going on my very first run with my very beautiful daughter.

Fast Food Is Bad

This is such a total DUH statement, right? Fast food is bad for you. Especially for someone with diabetes. Right? DJ definitely should not eat fast food! Ever!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE? DJ CAN EAT ANYTHING IN MODERATION!!!

Okay, another duh statement is that nobody should be eating fast food. However we all do it sometimes. I'm sure of it. If you say you never, ever, ever do... I'll say you're lying. If you really insist that you never eat fast food I might believe you, but I am positive we all eat out at some kind of chain restaurant at some point in time. That being said... counting carbs at a restaurant can be a bitch! This little baby has saved lives! Our lives! Many, many times. We have one in the house and one in the car and when we lose it I freak out!

This little book has all the nutrition information for most chain restaurants. It is lovely to be able to order something, open this book and find all the info I need at my finger tips. Guessing carb information usually ends up with extreme highs or lows, so to be able to get the count right and keep on keeping on is a wonderful feeling.

Shout out to Burgerville and McDonald's (yes, I said McDonald's) for putting nutrition information on either the receipt or food packaging. We usually only eat fast food if we are in a hurry and knowing that these two chains provide the information I need in a rush will actually encourage me to choose one of them over another chain.

For today. That is all. I have a warm Subway sandwhich calling my name. I looked it up in the book, it has about 35grams of carbs. Not too shabby.

What Could Be Worse Than Diabetes

I'm a half glass full kind of girl. So, instead of complaining about diabetes, today I'm going to list 10 things that could be worse than having a child with diabetes, my child in particular. In my opinion of course.

10) Water boarding
9) Living in Louisiana (I know, I've done it.)
8) A really bad first date.
7) Unemployment
6) Stupidity/Ignorance/Bigotry/Racism
5) Being pitied
4) Chocolate allergy.
3) Cancer. After the initial shock of DJ's diagnosis wore off I kept thanking God that it's not cancer.
2) Insulin shortages.
1) Not having a child at all.

Wow. Diabetes doesn't seem so bad! Today.

Diabetes Awareness Month

Hey ya'll! Yesterday was the first day of diabetes awareness month! You know I couldn't let it pass without making an opportunity to shed some light on the chronic illness that is diabetes! (*side note: Why is marijuana called chronic?)

Sorry, I got sidetracked.

Signs and symptoms of type 1 & type 2 diabetes:

  Type 1 Diabetes

• Frequent urination
• Unusual thirst
• Extreme hunger
• Unusual weight loss
• Extreme fatigue and Irritability

 

Type 2 Diabetes*

• Any of the type 1 symptoms
• Frequent infections
• Blurred vision
• Cuts/bruises that are slow to heal
• Tingling/numbness in the hands/feet
• Recurring skin, gum, or bladder infections

*Often people with type 2 diabetes have no symptoms

If you have any of these symptoms PLEASE get checked out. Diabetes can be devastating if left untreated! If you have a family history of diabetes ask for regular screenings. Testing for diabetes can be done with a simple urine and/or blood test and not all diabetes needs to be treated with injections.

Halloween Aftermath

First of all, DJ was very hesitant on going trick-or-treating last night. Why? She has inherited her mothers insecurities. Poor girl. I just hope she's not well into her 30's before she starts getting over that. Anywho. She went and she had a blast.

When DJ got home last night around 9:00 p.m. she had quite a nice little haul of candy, too bad I hadn't been able to unload the 10lbs or so I have at home, and we promptly began sifting through it to see what "we" got. She said she had one or two pieces while she was out with her friends and wanted candy and apple cider for her snack. Inside I cringed, but I okay'd it. This time. So she found six small pieces and grabbed a too large glass of cider and settled in to eat. Of course she didn't measure the cider so I was guessing at carb count. All I could think about was how this was totally going to mess up her numbers, but I kept my mouth shut.

DJ woke up about 4:00 a.m. and got into my bed. I had her test, like I always do when she wakes up in the middle of the night and she was 179. What the what??? This is a GREAT number btw. I'm happy to say that the halloween aftermath consisted only of her being way too tired this morning and complaining when I made her get out of bed at 7:00 a.m. A whole hour later than usual.

Us 1
Diabetes 0

Diabetes and Halloween: Just how does that work?

Common misconception: People with diabetes can't have sugar.

This is wrong for so many reasons, but I'm going to keep this short and simple(ish). Type 1 diabetes is about balancing carb intake with the appropriate amount of insulin. When DJ was diagnosed with diabetes we had friends and family asking left and right what they should give DJ "since she can't eat candy" and many people would unknowingly offer up snacks that are just as bad. Did you know eating a fruit snack is pretty much the same as eating a candy bar. Okay, one fruit snack = about half a candy bar. Someone even suggested we take her trick-or-treating and buy the candy from her so she could have cash instead of candy. That might fly now, but at seven years old? HA! Good luck. Candy is better than gold!

Diabetes sucks and kids that live with it already have to make major life changes. Taking away, or changing, holiday tradition (okay, so halloween isn't a real holiday, but you get my drift) is not something I've ever been willing to do. DJ's doctors encouraged us to take DJ trick-or-treating, since it's something we've always done, and to let her eat her candy. The difference being that now we had to incorporate the candy into our normal meal/snack times. We were even told that because we'll be out walking around, and exercise lowers blood sugar, she should probably be allowed a couple of pieces while we're trick-or-treating.

This year DJ will be trick-or-treating for the first time without me (sniff-sniff) and if I know my daughter she'll eat too much candy while she's out and about and when she gets home to me her blood sugar will be through the roof. I will get irritated, but I'll secretly be happy she had a couple of hours of normalcy. I will gladly stay up testing and injecting so she can have a good day tomorrow.

So, halloween becomes a little more inconvenient but at least the kid can earn her candy and eat it too.

One of those boring fitness blogs

So, when I started walking, and now when I run, I get the worst shin splints you can even imagine. If I try to run two days in a row, on day three I can hardly even walk. It is just.that.bad! I want to be able to run though; I've seen what it can do for a persons body and I know how I feel when I'm done. I am determined.

When I first started running I went out and got evaluated and bought the $100 that were supposed to help. They didn't. I went back to the store because they guarantee the fit, they offered to refund my money or let me keep them a while longer and gave me some tricks to try. They suggested some stretches and massaging my calves and shins with a foam roller.

The foam roller helps if I do it for about 15-20 minutes at night but I'm usually still in a lot of pain the next day. The foam roller also ends up being a kind of workout for my upper body too. This is good right? You would think... but not so much. I hate it. I love how the foam roller feels and I like to work out the upper body when it's what I feel like doing, not so much "just because I have to". So, I was looking for an alternative to the foam roller. Not only because it is a pain in my tush, but also because I need something to reach the little nooks and crannies around my ankles. So... I've been using this:

Yup, just an ordinary kitchen tool. The rolling pin has because my new workout bff. I can use this at night while I'm chillin' with DJ and it takes almost no effort. I can put as much pressure as I need on my calves, shins and ankles and the results have been amazing. I have been unable to run or walk agressively more than every three days. With the rolling pin massages I think I can up it to every other day comfortably.

This morning I ran almost completely pain free and it was amazing. I actually enjoyed my run this morning. I also took a friends advice and slowed down my run, just a little. The result was that I ran longer and I ran farther than I normally do. I was so excited and I actually stopped my run because I ran out of time and not because I was "just over it". I can't wait until Thursday so I can get ou there and do it again.

Work Rant

I went online this morning with the intention of researching Housing Authority of Portland's name change, specifically the cost of it. What caught my attention istead was this:

Oregon's Section 8 Policy Complicates Housing Search or "Whaaaaa"

First let me say, this article is about a woman who lives in the town I live in and I do not know her. I hope my house doesn't get egged. I also want to say that I'm in kind of a shitty mood today and not really in the mood to censor. So, here goes.

I work with homeless families in Washington County and many of them literally dream of they day they get a section 8 voucher; not because they are lazy or want an easy way out but because it will finally allow them that elusive thing called "affordable housing" and they can begin to get back on their feet.

Section 8 is a voluntary program for participants. There are requirements you must meet in order to receive a section 8 voucher and to keep it. Why should it not be voluntary for landlords as well? The county (whichever county holds the voucher) is responsible for inspecting the unit and making sure it meets their standard of cleanliness and safety, which may be above and beyond the standard for landlords or the general public. I've always thought a landlord must be crazy for not wanting to rent to section 8 recipients because it is guaranteed money each month, but if they were to be forced to participate in this program I think they should be compensated for whatever they need to do in order to meet the standard above the minimum.

One thing I saw several times in this article is "dream house/home". I have worked with many families looking for housing with a section 8 voucher. The only families I have seen lose that voucher because they ran out of time were those who were not willing to settle for something less than what they think they "deserve". Housing should be a right, not a privilege. I believe this whole heartedly. Unfortunately, in the land of the free there is not enough "affordable housing" (hereby referred to as "housing") and not enough funding, or too much mis-managed funding, to help all of our families/individuals in need. Even if there were enough housing, you can bet your sweet ass that it would not meet the criteria of "dream home" for many. You can get a decent place with section 8, but I can't imagine you will find the place you want to spend the rest of your days. <<< Unless you're retired, you shouldn't be looking for that anyway.

Section 8 is a stepping stone. It should be used as a tool to help a person/family become more self-sufficient in the long run. I fully realize the desire to give your kids a house, a yard, more than we had. I know from first hand experience that it physically hurts when you can't make that happen. If not for the help of my friends and my family I would not have come as far as I have in the past few years. I also know that because of the struggles we've had I appreciate where I live and what I have. I can't say I've gotten it all on my own because like I said, I have amazing family and friends that have helped me along the way, but I can say that hard work does pay off and the struggles are worth it.

What mostly upsets me about this article is that they seem to be talking shit about the section 8 program. The very program that is willing to pay over $1200 a month in rent for a family of four. No, the program isn't perfect. Yes, you would think more landlords would take advantage of this program.

I'm here to tell you that the section 8 waiting list in Washington County is eight years long. If you lose your voucher because you are not willing to take "just anything" then hopefully the person that gets the voucher will be a little more grateful. Keep in mind "just anything" must meet the standard of the county, and the standard is not the easiest to meet.

There you go... just my two cents.

A letter to DJ.

Dear D.J.

Here you are, 13 years old. I remember when you were born, how you looked just like your daddy and how happy that made me. I remember the first time you stood on your own, you were nine months old and Grandma Vicki turned on Barney for the first time. You were so excited you stood right up and watched the whole show. I remember saying goodbye to you a couple of weeks later, you were staying at dads while I went back to Germany to exit out of the Army. I ended up being gone for three very long months. I remember that you waited for me before you took your first steps. It was your first birthday and I had come home just the day before. I remember your first day of pre-school, kindergarten and middle school. I remember your first plane ride and your first plane ride alone. There are so many memories, mostly good, that I could never list them all.

I am so proud of the person you are, D.J. You are strong willed, independent, witty, cocky and sarcastic. You are also funny, loving, sweet and a defender of the defenseless. D.J. You have a strong work ethic, you make good choices and you even at 13 you have a healthy outlook on life.

I don't know exactly what or who I imagined you to be at this age, but I could have never guessed how wonderful you would be. That I could help to create such a precious being, a person with such a wonderful personality and super cute to boot! I am just amazed by you and there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for you. Literally, I thank God (out loud) for allowing me to be your mother.

I love you Deej. I hope this birthday is fabulous, amazing and everything you deserve.

Love,

Mom

Your Last Kiss

I like routine. I actually need routine. Every morning (Monday through Friday) I wake up, do some form of exercise, feed the dogs and let them out, shower, wake up DJ, make our lunches for the day, then say my goodbyes to everyone in the house so I can head to work.The one variation in the morning routine is whether or not I exercise before work or wait until after so I can sleep in an extra 30 minutes or so. The rest of the routine, well it stays the same.

Giving DJ a hug and a kiss goodbye is the last thing I do before I walk out the door every morning, to get my day off to a good start. I'm a believer that we have to tell the ones we love them and I like to hug and kiss the kids as much as I can; kid hugs and kisses are the best. Today when I was hugging and kissing DJ goodbye (on the cheek-I think she'd want me to make that clear) and telling her to have a good day at school I realized that this is the last morning I would kiss my 12-year-old goodbye. Tomorrow, when I send her off to school and tell her to enjoy her day I will be talking to a teenager. *sigh*

This morning I was little outside my routine because I had to go to my brothers to swap cars. I got to kiss my two handsome nephews, Joshua and Nathanial, goodbye too.

It was a good morning, full of love and kisses.

Diabetes is a Joke

So, if you're my friend on facebook or if you've read any of my blog you know that my daughter has diabetes. DJ was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes exactly one year ago yesterday, just before her seventh birthday. (Isn't she cute?) When she was diagnosed I remember being so sad. I honestly don't remember feeling like "why us" or being scared. I have heard horror stories about children being violently ill or even in a coma before finding out they have diabetes. We were lucky enough to have a well child check up and an amazing pediatrician who asked all the right questions and caught it before it progressed to that point, so there was really nothing scarey about the way DJ looked or acted. I also didn't know enough about diabetes to know there was a reason to be scared.

When DJ was diagnosed I was sad because I knew that there was something wrong inside her body that I could not fix and I also thought I must have done something to make this happen. After much education I learned that this wasn't anybody's fault and that as long as we treated DJ's diabetes there was no reason she couldn't live a long, healthy life. Still, I was sad that she had to live with this mess, possibly for the rest of her life.

Something you may not know, there are two things about me that just don't jive too well with diabetes. 1) I love (I do mean LOVE) to sleep and 2) I am terrible at math!

When DJ was diagnosed she was finally old enough to grab a bowl of cereal or a snack and watch cartoons so Mommy could sleep in, just a little. I had just had this realization, and was most happy about it, when she was diagnosed and suddenly I was getting up at 2:00 a.m. every morning to test her (this went on for months) and I still burn a lot of midnight oil taking care of highs and lows and consoling a child that just does not feel well.

What does diabetes have to do with math, you say? We count every gram of carbs that go into DJ's mouth (subtracing dietary fiber if it's a substantial amount), we had to figure out how many points a unit of insulin will lower DJ's blood sugar (this changes as she gets older) and then there is a formula for how many units of insulin she should get depending on how many grams of carbs and what her blood sugar is when she's ready to eat. Now that DJ is on the pump, it does a lot of the work. My main job now is to download all the data from the pump, look for patterns in her numbers and figure out (guess) where to raise or lower her insulin and by how much.

Last night I got to bed after 10:00 p.m. (late for me) and DJ came to me at 3:00 a.m. not feeling well. I had her get in my bed and I tested her, to find out she's over 400 when just five hours earlier I was struggling to get her blood sugar to a safe number (80-180). So, I tested her, gave her some insulin and literally laughed out loud!

I do believe God has a sense of humor and when I find myself getting to my wits end with diabetes I just remind myelf of this and I have to laugh right along with him.

Something You're Currently Worrying About

I took a little break from the 30 day blog because I didn't have any worries significant enough to write about. I have one now.

I feel like I've gotten pretty laid back in the past year or so. I try to let things roll off  my back and just go with the flow as much as I can. Over the past week I feel my quick temper returning and this morning I think I might have had a mini aneurysm because I was so pissed. Exercise is supposed to help, right? Yeah, well... I've been working out 5 days a week and I still want to rip somebody's head off!

Maybe it's the stress of DJ's birthday and the Walk to Cure Diabetes coming up? I always feel so much pressure for things to go perfectly. How dumb is that? For both functions we will be surrounded with friends and family that love us and that is really all that matters!

Anyway, pray for me my friends. Let's hope that I can keep my cool and stay out of trouble. I'm going to need all the help I can get!

Have a great one and I'll be seein' you soon!

Your Opinion on Cheating on People

It's wrong.

Don't do it.

The end.

Who Do You Like

Who do I like? Who do I like? Do you mean like or "like-like"??? What am I TWELVE?

As if I would tell you that. In a blog, no less. I might have a big mouth, talk about myself all the time and share with you all most of my biz... but some things are private. Talking about my relationships, or potential relationships, or the hope of a potential relationship , is not something I do with just anybody. What kinda girl do you think I am?

I don't update my Facebook relationship status and I rarely comment about the person I'm seeing when I am seeing someone. Why? Because it's none of your business and until the kids are involved and we're taking "family" trips to the beach, you just don't need to know. There's not much worse than having to explain to everyone why a relationship didn't work out. Yuk! The explaining to everyone is sometimes far worse than the fact that it didn't work!

Who do I like?

smh

5 Things That Irritate You About the Opposite Sex/Same Sex

Five??? I only get FIVE?

1) I really don't like when two people start dating and one forces the other to change they way they dress. I broke up with someone once because he wore a Kraft Mac 'n Cheese shirt. Every day. I didn't tell him I didn't like, didn't ask him to change it, just said "we need to talk". His response was pretty funny, but since children have access to this blog I will not post it here. I digress, he was one of the nicest, not to mention a hottie, guys I've ever dated but I couldn't do the Kraft dinosaur shirt. On a serious note, for those of you that know me well, you know that if you try to tell me what I can and can't do (wear), I am likely to do the opposite just to prove a point, so I refuse to do it to someone else. Also, I was like 20-years-old. Today it might not bother me quite as much. Or the shirt might disappear. KIDDING!

2) Everybody argues. Everybody has problems. You should NOT broadcast your problems with your significant other to everyone and their mother. We all need to vent; pick a couple of friends and talk to them when you need to. That being said, a friend is not someone who agrees with you about everything and talks shit about your significant other when you happen to be mad. A friend is someone who will listen and let you know not only when you're right but also when you need to stop being a b**** and cut the guy some slack.

3) If you are in your 30's and still single or single again, you are likely going to have friends of the opposite sex. You should not have to disown your friends because you met someone new. It sucks when you see a friend, saaayyy in the grocery store, and they give you the nod and smile because they are with their new girlfriend or boyfriend. This weekend I was at Safeway and saw an old friend and this is exactly what happened. I used to get a hug and an arm around the shoulder and chit-chat about the kids and our parents. My feelings were really hurt, but I get it because I've been there before. In my early 20's!

4) If you say you're going to call me, call me. If you forget, say you forgot.

5) You know how when you first meet someone new and you want to spend all your time with them and talking to them? That's normal. That's great. Know that it will eventually fade and you both must join the rest of us here in the real world. It doesn't mean he/she doesn't "love" you, doesn't mean he/she is mad at you. It means they have a job, kids, friends, a life outside of you!

The list really could go on an on people but I will sign off for today. Have a good one and enjoy the sunshine. The leaves are falling off the trees already, autumn is on it's way.

Tribute to 9/11

When I heard the news of the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City I was three years out of the Army and living with my mother in Gresham, Oregon. My first thought was that it was some kind of sick joke; the radio station I listened to at the time was big on playing practical jokes-often times highly inappropriate, sick jokes. I turned on the television and, like the rest of the world, was shocked and apalled by what I saw.

My first thoughts were for the people in the buildings and the planes, of course. My second thoughts were thoughts of concern for the rescue workers. My third thought, and it took me about a  minute to get here, was concern about the fallout of this terrorist attack. Being just a few years out of the Army I had a lot of friends, close friends who I considered (and still do) my family, that were still serving. I knew it was a matter of time before my loved ones were caught up in this mess. Realistically, they were caught up the second the attack happened and it was a matter of time before some of them, maybe all of them, were shipped off to foreign lands to help bring justice for these heinous acts of violence.

I was glued to the television and when I wasn't watching the coverage I was trying to get a sense of what was to come from one of my best friends who happened to be working security for General Tommy Franks, the U.S. general leading the attack on the Taliban in Afghanistan in response to the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and The Pentagon in 2001. He also led the 2003 invasion of Iraq and the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.

I was in the Army for seven years and never did I have to deploy or face any kind of combat. After the 9/11 attacks happened I was full of relief that I could sit in my comfortable home, holding my perfect child and filled with guilt that so many people I loved would have to go fight for my right to be where I was at that moment. I felt like I should be there, standing beside my brothers and sisters and doing what I could to show this great nation the love and respect it deserves. I know now that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and there is a reason for everything.

In the past 10 years most of the friends I made while in the Army that were still serving at the time of the attacks have deployed at least once, the friend mentioned above has deployed four times-twice to Iraq and twice to Afganistan. I have heard very few first hand accounts of what's going on over there, just enough to know that I was and am in the right place for me. The amount of strength and courage it takes to deploy to a foreign land and face an enemy you can't always see... Well, I can't even imagine what that is like.

I just want to thank all the men and women who have served and still serve, those who have signed up to fight since the attacks-knowing they will have to face this enemy, the victims, families and loved ones of the World Trade Center attacks and the families that support their soldiers for months and years at a time. My heart also goes out to the people of the world that will be judged for years to come because they are Muslim or they happen to be from Iraq or Afghanistan, and US citizens that happen to be of Middle Eastern decent that will be judged simply because of their heritage.

I hope this war will come to an end soon and the survivors and the soldiers/sailors/airmen will know that their service has not been for nothing. No matter what your religious beliefs, political stance or feelings on this war, let us all shower love upon those that were and are directly affected by this war.

Much love.

What You Wear to Bed

Boooorrrring! I don't make up the rules though, so here goes.

When I go to be I wear a tank top and pajama pants usually. Something like this:

Honestly though, when I'm home alone (DJ is at her dads), it's usually my birthday suit. It's more comfortable and saves time in the morning. Yes, I am just that lazy. Ooohhh how I love being in my birthday suit... When DJ's not home I do most things in that suit o' mine... I watch TV... I load the dishwasher... I do laundry... I take naps... you get the point.

Well. That's all folks. Peace out and have a fabu weekend.

What Kind of Person Attracts You

Good question. What kind of person attracts me. This is a good topic, I'll share with you all what attracts me and maybe you can hook a girl up... maybe... er... j/k... kinda... yeah... definitely kidding... (red faced and embarassed)...

First of all, we all know physical attraction is a must. I don't really have a physical "type" but I have to want to show you off to my friends and feel proud to go out in public with you. Does this make me shallow? Yes. Am I okay with that? Yes. I'm not saying you have to look like a Abercrombie model, I'd really rather you didn't. I want to feel good about myself too and who needs that kinda pressure!

***Side note. I dated a guy once who told me he used to date models but he's much happier dating regular chicks like me. Whuuuuh??? I think I just said the same thing. Maybe I shouldn't have cussed him out?

Okay, back on track. Sense of humor. If you can't laugh at yourself, at me or handle me laughing at you, then we will have a problem. I'm FUNNY and if you don't get my sarcastic, witty-if I do say so myself-sense of humor then you are definitely not for me. Must be smart! You cannot be dumb and kick it with me. You have to have common sense and book smarts. I'm not a genius, but I'm also not a dummy. I like to talk about serious subjects too and I like a good debate from time to time.

I think a mans man is sexy. Hunting, fishing, working on the car and fixing things around the house. (I have just described most of my friends husbands and half my male fb friends). I have never actually dated a man like this, but if you have pics like these on fb I have seen them and I have checked them out. They're my porn! Totally kidding! Seriously, I'm totally kidding!)!

Have a backbone. Stand up for yourself and don't let me (or anyone else) walk all over you. Don't take me for granted and don't be afraid to shower me with gifts. Seriously. I'm not talking about big ticket items. Things like flowers just because, a coffee or lunch delivered to work, a book I happened to mention I'd like to read. It really is the little things. A text message to tell me you're thinking about me is nice, oh but don't think you can get away with only communicating through text. You have to make an effort.

You have to get along with my friends. They know me, they love me, they will always be in my life. You don't have to LOVE all of them, but there are a few key people that you should make an effort to bond with. No I'm not going to tell you who they are, that would make things way too easy and not nearly as fun for them! I think they must look at this as some kind of sport, if I were them I would.

If you are a father you should be actively involved in your kids lives (and enjoy it) and if you pay child support you should do so without complaining. They are YOUR kids!

Lastly, I'm obviously not perfect but you should think I'm pretty great. Have you seen Juno? Well, this quote kinda sums it up:

"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

How Have You Changed In The Past Two Years

Whew! How haven't I changed??? Well...

Through a series of events that included an unhealthy relationship, Oprah (yes, Oprah) a conversation with my mother and memories of a tumultuous childhood I decided that I needed THERAPY! The unhealthy relationship led me to some childhood flashbacks, Oprah happened to have an episode that hit frighteningly close to home and as I was discussing it (Oprah, not the relationship) with my mother over the phone in the middle of Fred Meyer I realized I needed HELP! I think the breaking down in uncontrolable sobs is what gave it away...

I started therapy in April 2010 and in the first six months I could feel myself becoming stronger, more self-confident and happier. I also began to see who in my life was happy, or not, with the changes in me. I found myself wanting to be a better friend, mother, sister, daughter, co-worker, etc. My primary goal became: When I go to bed at night I want to know that I lived the best life I could today. I want to be someone I would want to be friends with. In short, I changed my focus to me because I was learning that if I made me happy I would make the people who love me happy.

In the last two years I have: become a better mother, become a better friend, weeded out unhealthy relationships, formed new friendships, learned that I attract what I am (and I have been attracting some fabulous people), learned to stand up for myself without apologizing for it, become more trustworthy, learned to set up healthy boundaries, learned to advocate for myself to get my needs met, learned to "give it to God" and stress less, become more open minded, learned how to respectfully agree to disagree, learned how to say goodbye to people that I love (because sometimes things just don't work out), learned that I cannot be responsible for anyone's happiness but my own and learned that all I owe anyone is my honesty.

I have grown so much in the last two years, yet I am nowhere near where I want to be. I have goals and I have dreams and now I feel much better equipped to go after them. I still have my insecurities and I probably always will, but now I am more willing to face them because becoming the person I want to be is more important than the shame I carried around for 36 years.

Weird Things You Do When You're Alone

Hmmm... I don't think I'm that weird. I should say I don't think the things I do when I'm alone are that weird. I save my weirdness for public spectacle.

I like to tweeze and wax. I don't like to do it, but it passes the time. Waxing the stache and the uni-brow are a must and those are just things you don't want to do in the presence of company. I have to do this sometimes when DJ is home and I just shut the bathroom door. We never shut the bathroom door so when she sees that she knows something unpleasant must be going down.

I stalk. Specifically, I facebook stalk. There is nothing weird about this, although it might be a little creepy. My latest obsessions are... uhhh... never mind. All you need to know is that I often look up people from my past so I can see what they've been up to. Sometimes I want to know that I'm happier than them, sometimes I truly want to know that they are doing well. I also might want to check out a friend of a friend and see what their story is. If we're fb friends, chances are I've stalked you or someone who commented on one of your statuses. Yeah, I said statuses!

I give myself pedicures. I break out the home foot spa, pumice stone and all the goodies that go along with it to make my lower digits look fab. Gross toes are a pet peeve and if my toes don't look good I can't wear sandals or flip flops.

I think of my enemies and have conversations with them in my head. In these conversations I am most witty and I always, always get the best of them. Sometimes the conversations are do-overs where maybe I didn't have the best comebacks so I have to redeem myself.

I look up recipes online. I put recipes into my fitness pal (mfp) for use at a later date. I figure out exactly how many calories I will burn if I actually get up and exercise. I shop online but don't usually buy; I do add a lot of stuff to my Amazon wish list (it's public btw. Just in case you wanna surprise me). I update FB repeatedly... like, almost constantly. I make lists of things I should be doing. I balance my checkbook. I examine the animals for injury (you never know). I research diabetes. I think about food. I spend a lot of time naked. I do everything naked when I'm alone.

Well, there you have it. I'm not that weird, right?

I'm doing it again 30-Day Blog Challenge #2

...no. I didn't finish the last one. I will though, I promise. I have a problem finishing things. According to my therapist it's the fear of commitment thing. Fear of failure. I feel the need to be perfect and I'm so consumed by the fear of not completing something perfectly that I become paralyzed and am unable to complete it at all, therefore creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm awesome, right?

Anyway, this 30-day challenge looks more fun than the last. The real reason I haven't finished the last one though is that I have to put my iPod on shuffle and list what the first 10 songs are. I keep forgetting to do the blog at home and to bring the iPod to work. If I were super motivated I would remember... but it will get done. I also have this little bit of fear that my music might not be "cool enough". Yes, I am that insecure sometimes. As much as I have a fear of messing things up, I also hate loose ends; things left incomplete bug the hell out of me. So rest assured. You will get to find out what's on the ol' iPod.

So. Here it is. The next 30-day challenge:

1. Weird things you do when you’re alone.
2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
3. What kind of person attracts you.
4. What you wear to bed.
5. 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.
6. The person you like and why you like them.
7. Your opinion on cheating on people.
8. Something you’re currently worrying about.
9. Your last kiss.
10. Your views on drugs and alcohol.
11. Your currently relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
12. Things you want to say to an ex.
13. A date you would love to go on.
14. Something disgusting you do.
15. The best things to happen to you this week.
16. 3 things you are proud of about your personality.
17. Things that make you scared.
18. Disrespecting parents.
19. Something that never fails to make you feel better.
20. The last argument you had.
21. Something you can’t seem to get over.
22. 10 things about you people don’t really expect.
23. Something you always think “what if…” about
24. Things you want to say to 5 different people.
25. 10 ways to win your heart.
26. Your religious beliefs.
27. Talk about your siblings.
28. The month you were happiest this year why.
29. A picture of yourself.
30. What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month.

Today is officially Day 1 according to: www.30daychallenges.net so I guess I'll be back on later to let you know all the weird stuff I do when I'm alone.

See you soon.

Dueces!

A Day at the Water Park

There is never a shortage of entertainment when you go to a water park, and I'm not just talking about the rides. It is people watching at its best! These are a few of the things we witnessed:

- A lot of butt crack. Crack kills, people. Cover that mess up!
- A lady with a hole in the butt crack of her suit. I told her about it only after much convincing from DJ that I "had to" tell her because it was the right thing to do. We saw her later and she had shoved her suit up her butt to cover the hole. Awesome.
- A dude in Speedo shorts to his knees. I thought DJ was going to vomit because you could totally see his package... what there was of it. Poor fella.
- Teenage girls making out alternately with their boyfriends and each other. Really kids? Really?
- A lot of ladies wearing bikinis that maybe shouldn't have been wearing bikinis. They made me feel good about myself though, so I really liked them.
- This kid (about 17-ish) standing behind me in line and playing with his moob and squeezing his nipple repeatedly. Oh, and he touched me!!!

Also, you cannot go to any kind of amusement park, packed into those lines like a bunch of sardines, and expect to not get touched on your naughty parts once or twice. My butt was grazed by more than a couple of hands (mostly on accident, I'm sure) and my boobs and my face were the victim of intertube assault over and over again. Not that my face is a naughty part, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

The best part of the whole day though, was this:

This kid is never happier than when she is in water. I don't get it, but I don't have to. It was a great day.

Give Diabetes the Finger

Who remembers Super Bowl Sunday 2011??? I do! Not because of the commercials and certainly not because of the game; only because that's the morning I had to call 911 at 5:00 a.m. because DJ had gone into a severe hypo-glycemic episode while she was sleeping and I couldn't wake her or get her to respond. For those who wish to read about that episode, the link is here:

http://rosebrowning.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-worst-nightmare.html

DJ deals with hypo-glycemia usually on a weekly basis. It makes her uncomfortable but the fix is easy and it's usually not too big of a deal if we catch it before she gets too low. The episode in February was the worste I have ever seen and it was the second time in three years this has happened to her. (The first time she was at her dads house and it also resulted in an ambulance ride to the hospital). The reality of our situation is that something like this will happen again, unless a cure is found.

Hypo-glycemia is when your blood sugar gets too low (this is below 80 for DJ). Symptoms of hypoglycemia include drowsiness, feeling week, hungry, cold sweats, double vision, fast pounding heart beat, shaking, unclear thinking, the list goes on. DJ has been living like this since she was six years old and I for one think it's about time she's able to stop living like this and start living the life of a "normal" 12-year-old girl!

My dream is for DJ to be able to live a life free of diabetes and the complications that can arise from it. I look forward to the day when DJ can give diabetes the finger!



Common Sense

Common Sense ~ Every day I am reminded... is not so common!

com.mon; adjective

1. belonging equally to, or shared alike by, two or more or all in question: common property; common interests.
2. pertaining or belonging equally to an entire community, nation, or culture; public: a common language or history; a common water supply system.
3. joint; united: a common defense.
4. widespread; general; ordinary: common knowledge.
5. of frequent occurance; usual; familiar: a common event; a common mistake.

sense; noun

1. any of the faculties, as sight, hearing, smell, taste, or touch, by which humans and animals perceive stimuli originating from outside or inside the body.
2. these faculties collectively.
3. their operation or function; sensation.
4. a feeling or perception produced through the organs of touch, taste, ets., or resulting from a particular condition of some part of the body: to have a sense of cold.
5. a faculty or function of the mind analogous to sensation: the moral sense.

Walk to Cure Diabetes

Every year Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) hosts "The Walk to Cure Diabetes". This is an annual fundraiser to support research for a cure for type 1 diabetes. Below is a link to the story of how JDRF was born. Please, I am literally begging you to watch this.

With enough money we can find a cure! These women are amazing and I am forever in their debt. You cannot imagine what something like diabetes will do to your family until you experience it first hand. The reality of the situation is that until a cure is found my daughter will live every day of her life making herself bleed to test her blood and injecting herself with medication. How morbid is that? How would you feel if it were your child or grandchild?

I am asking each of you to donate $5, $10, $20. Anything helps. If you can sign up to walk with us and raise money that would be even better! If we had a 10 person team and each of us ased 10 people for $10 we would have $1000.

Please help me find a cure for diabetes. Again, I am begging you.

How I embarrassed my daughter at camp...

Every year DJ goes to diabetes camp and every year they have a little awards ceremony at the end for the parents and campers. Each kid gets a certificate with some cute title; this year DJ got "Social Butterfly".

After hitting Starbucks at about 9:30 a.m. yesterday I headed out to Gales Creek Camp to pick up my monster and see her get her award. When I got there all the parents, campers and counselors were crowded around and the awards had already begun. It was 10:20 a.m. and I SWORE awards were supposed to start at 10:30 a.m. so I found the schedule and sure enough, I was right. I absolutely detest being late, but at least I could see DJ get her award. I found DJ and asked if she got hers yet, she nodded yes and gave me a look somewhere between disappointment and pisstivity. I swear I almost cried. I. WAS. PISSED. I hunted down the person in charge and was thisclose to snapping on her. I pulled her aside and said, "I'm really disappointed the awards started early". She asked if I missed DJ's award and when I told her yes, with a tear in my eye, she said, "Okay, we'll do it again". I let her know DJ probably would not appreciate that but she figured DJ would get over it and that I deserved a photo opp. She walks over to DJ and takes her award and DJ was so confused. The look on her face was hillarious. Anyway, they called DJ up and gave her the award along with the explanation for it, for the second time and I know she wanted to crawl under those bleachers. As she walked back to her seat I saw her mouth the words "MY MOTHER" to her friends and I was happy I had my pictures.

After I picked her up from camp we took a last minute trip to Tillamook and Neskowin. On the way to the beach DJ's pump ran out of insulin so she ate and played like a kid that doesn't have diabetes. By the time she got home to test she was over 500 and drinking water & peeing like she was newly diagnosed. Not to mention that hellacious attitude she gets when she's high. It was worth it to have the day we had and after a few hours of testing and administering insulin she was back to normal. We had so much fun, but I must confess, the fact that she wasn't getting insulin nagged me the whole trip.

I look forward to the day when diabetes is a memory and doesn't occupy my every other thought.

Walk to Cure Diabetes

On September 21, 2005 I was told my daughter has type 1 diabetes. I was also told she will have to take multiple injections of insulin for the rest of her life. I cannot tell you how that feels; the fear, the frustration and the guilt!

Diabetes is so common that many people don't realize how devastating it can be. Here are some numbers for you, they are all approximates:

5110 - the number of injections she had to take the first four years of her diagnosis
243 - the number of site changes she's done since getting her insulin pump two years ago
10,950 - the number of fiinger pokes she has taken over the past six years

These numbers do not account for additional highs and lows. The numbers are much greater but I have no way of tracking the actual numbers. These are best case scenario numbers, if there were no sick days and no dangerously high and low numbers.

Wouldn't it be great if there were a cure for DJ and the thousands of children like her, living with type 1 diabetes? We are so close to a cure and I truly believe it will happen in DJ's lifetime.

If you would like to help find a cure for diabetes you can begin by joining us for the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes. You can help by walking with us and raising funds yourself or by donating. Anything helps, even $5, $10, $20. Anything.

You can go to http://www2.jdrf.org/site/PageServer?pagename=walk_homepage to register or to donate. Our team name is "The Move"; I am the team captain. If you would like to donate you can donate to DJ Thompson or Rose Browning. I will be posting more information as time goes by. The date is October 2, 2011 at 9:00 a.m.

Thank you all for your love and support.

Is there a cure???

When DJ was diagnosed with diabetes I spent a LONG time beating myself up, wondering what I did to make this happen and how I could have prevented it. The truth is, nothing can stop type 1 diabetes from happening. Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease in which the body's immune system attacks and destroys the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas. While its causes are not yet entirely understood, scientists believe that both genetic factors and environmental triggers are involved (from JDRF website).

I know people are generally well meaning, but I gotta be honest. I have spent six years taking care of a child that has type 1 diabetes. I'm pretty well versed in the do's and the don'ts of it. If people don't understand the "rules" around diabetes and want to be educated, I'm the first person to step up and share whatever information I have. I absolutely cannot stand for people to make assumptions that what I'm doing for her is "wrong" or "unhealthy". The fact of the matter is, we all should limit our sugar and unhealthy carb and fat intake but we all (most of us) indulge, sometimes more than we should. As long as DJ's doctors are okay with what she consumes... so am I.

As for a cure for diabetes, type 2 can often be controlled or even stopped with proper diet and exercise (but not always). There is absolutely no cure for type 1 diabetes... YET. I'm not going to read any books on natural cures or put DJ on a special diet. I just won't do it. Imagine being 12 years old and being different than most of the kids you know, the suddenly you're forced into this crazy strict diet and exercise routine (more crazy than what it already is with having diabetes)... and the kicker is it wouldn't get rid of diabetes anyway. It might make diabetes easier to manage, but that's our burden to carry, as the parent. Finding a balance between a normal life and managing diabetes is my reality, all day every day.

I think I'm done with my rant. I do appreciate people's care and concern. Also, I do recognize, as I said before, that most people are trying to be helpful. As the parent of a child with a medical condition it does often feel like people are being insensitive to what we must be going through, as though we wouldn't have already thought to look for a "cure" or ways to make this contition easier to live with.

When I started this post I was really kind of mad. Now I just feel the need to throw my hands up, shake my head and say, please try to think about what life must be like for us. This has been a really bad diabetes week for us and our friends with diabetes-crazy coincidence-and we are all just trying to get through it together.

Thank you to those friends and acquaintances that have made the effort, have asked questions and have educated themselves.

If you're not with us, then get to steppin'. 'Cause we don't need you bringing us down.

Baby's First

There's nothing quite like seeing your baby take her first steps, read her first words, dress herself for the first time or take off on a bike for the first time... Unless your child has some sort of medical condition that requires them to learn other new things, take other kinds of "first steps".

I was talking to a friend today and was reminded of all of the firsts DJ and I have had since her diagnosis.

A lot of DJ's firsts were not with me. I got hear her first words and see her take her first steps, not to mention all of her school and sports firsts. I did not get to see her ride a bike or help her learn how to read; I get to thank her step-mom for that. Seriously, my sincerest thanks!

A lot of DJ's diabetes firsts were at diabetes camp or at her dads. When DJ was diagnosed she took it like a champ. She didn't even cry when she had to take her first shot, when she found out she would have to take them everyday she was mad, but she didn't even cry... right away. After the first few days she started testing her own blood sugar, I got to see that one. At diabetes camp, less than a year after diagnosis and at the tender age of 7, DJ learned how to take a shot in her stomach (before it had been strictly the arm or the leg) and she learned how to give herself a shot in the leg and stomach. The following year, at age 8, she learned how to give herself shots in her arm-a lot more difficult than the leg, thank you very much.

When DJ was in third grade she lived with her dad and it was there that she began to prepare to get her insulin pump. The first step was getting an insulin pen, she loved that thing. In 4th grade, she was living me again, she went to visit Dad for summer vacation and got the insuiln pump she had been so impatiently waiting for. She learned how to attach her infusion set and to run the pump through the steps to get it set up and working all by herself. When DJ came home from that summer vacation she was teaching me how to take care of her.

A few other firsts DJ had were sleep overs (with non-family member, it took a few years), counting carbs, reading food lables and most recently going to a non-diabetes related camp.

I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I don't want to take away from the excitement of DJ's "normal" firsts... but I just cannot explain to you how special each and every one of those diabetes firsts have been. Each time DJ makes some kind of progress I feel so proud and so excited, but a little part of me is sad because I know that it's one less thing she needs me for and she is one step closer to independence.

Pump Education

All people with type 1 diabetes need insulin to survive (some people with type 2 diabetes need insulin as well). This is a fact. The only way to get insulin into the body is to inject it. This is done with a small syringe, an insulin pen (still a needle) or a pump. DJ has a pump. There are several different kinds of pumps; DJ has an Animas Ping, hers is blue.

For us, the three selling points of the Ping were 1) With DJ's active lifestyle it seemed like a really good fit. She can take it off and put it on very easily which is really helpful when she's playing sports. 2) It's completely water proof so although DJ doesn't need to wear it when she's swimming, she could. 3) The meter, the thing you test your blood with on the left, acts as a remote to the pump which is on the right. So if DJ is sleeping or sick I can test her blood and give her insulin when she needs it without waking her up. It also allows for more privacy when giving insulin in public, a very big deal to DJ.

The insulin pump is nice for several reasons. 1) DJ only has to change the sight (essentially give herself an injection) every three days instead of shots every time she eats. 2) DJ gets a constant stream of insulin 24/7 which should lead to better control of her numbers. This constant stream of insulin is called a basal. 3) When she eats she tests her blood sugar and the pump looks at her current number and DJ tells it how many grams of carbs she's going to eat. The pump does a little math and tells her how much extra insulin she should take to keep her numbers in a healthy range. This extra dose of insulin is called a bolus.

Once a week we are supposed to (I really need to work on this) download the information from DJ's meter and pump. The softwear that goes along with the pump produces reports that show us how much insulin through basal and bolus DJ is getting every day. The basal and the bolus should be very close to equal. For example if DJ is getting 40 units of insulin through her basal (steady stream) she should be getting about 40 units through the bolus' (extra doses with meals). If DJ is getting a lot more insulin through bolus her numbers will be high on average, if she gets a lot of extra insulin through basal her numbers will be low on average.

There is also a report that shows all of DJ's test results (numbers) over the last week (or longer if we need to look). When we look at this report we need to look at patterns of highs, lows or healthy numbers and along with the other report we make adjustments to the basal rate in the hopes that DJ's numbers will improve.

Then life goes on and we do it all again next week.

It's all relatively simple once you learn it. Honestly, most of it you learn just because your child has diabetes, before you are even introduced to the pump. The pump makes it easier because it does a lot of the hard work for you. It would be perfect if life were the same day after day after day.

Because life is not the same day after day it's not always so easy. (Don't worry. I'm almost done. If you've hung on this long I shall reward you by ending the lesson soon). Doses of insulin (basal and bolus) have to be adjusted with variables such as illness, stress, activity and time of day. I won't even go into the details on all of this. I just want to make it clear that although the pump is pretty amazing, it's not a working pancreas. I'm confident DJ will have one of those someday too, though.

***Disclaimer: I hear it kinda sucks to have to walk around with a little piece of medical equipment attached to you 24/7, especially if you accidentally drop it while it's attached! Ouch!

30 Day Blog Challenge-A song that makes you cry.

If I need a good cry, or even if I don't, this song works every time!

Oh goodness! Why did I watch it? WHYYYY did I watch it?